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Young couple’s problems

15-May-09

A young couple decided to wed.
As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive.
Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.
Father, he said, I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.
His father replied, Don’t you love this girl?
Oh yes, very much, he said, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my fiance will be put off by them.
No problem, said dad, all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.
Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.
The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom.
Mom, she said, When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.
Honey, her mother consoled, everyone has bad breath in the morning.
No, you don’t understand,. My morning breath is so bad, I’m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.
Her mother said simply, Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.
I shouldn’t say good morning or anything? the daughter asked.
Not a word, her mother affirmed.
Well, it’s certainly worth a try, she thought.
The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well.
That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off.
Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, What on earth are you doing?
Oh, my, he replies, you’ve swallowed my sock!

What Want?

15-May-09

An Indian scouting party captures a cowboy and brings him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, “You going die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. At sundown third day, you die. What first wish?”

The cowboy says, “I want to see my horse.”

The Indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse’s ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the back. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blond. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy.

The Indians look at each other, figuring, “Typical white man… only think one thing.”

The second day, the chief says, “What wish today?”

The cowboy says, “I want to see my horse again.”

The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horse’s ear, then slaps it on the back. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with the cowboy.

The Indians shake their heads, figuring, “Typical white man going die tomorrow … can only think one thing.”

The last day comes, and the chief says, “This last wish, white man. What want?”

The cowboy says, “I want to see my horse again.” The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, “Read my lips you idiot! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!

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