There were 3 good arguments that Jesus could have been Black:
- He called everyone “brother”
- He liked Gospel
- He couldn’t get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
- He went into His Fathers business.
- He lived at home until he was 33.
- He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus could have been Italian:
- He talked with his hands.
- He had wine with every meal.
- He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus could have been a Californian:
- He never cut his hair.
- He walked around barefoot all the time.
- He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus could have been Irish:
- He never got married.
- He was always telling stories.
- He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus could have been a woman:
- He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was no food.
- He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
- And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.
Wiki Article : For those who cant take a joke lightly
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81 Comments
typical woman
ruining what could have been a good joke with her feminist ideals.
I’ve become so antiChristian as a result of the Christians putting Bush in office TWICE! I’m tired of being so angry at them, and I appreciate this as a stepping stone to being a bit more mellow.
Thanks!
@kalma ..I dont see any woman .. nor do i see joke getting ruined.
@ConsiderThis I thought Americans put Bush twice in office.?
……………………………………………….. did you see any laughter? NO!
@ConsiderThis
Hey I’m Christian and so are many of my friends/colleagues and WE didn’t for Bush. Just so you know, not all Xtians = Fundies(Fundamentalist Christians a la Jerry Fawell). Many of us xtians are quite liberal in fact. Its just that the media only represents the more extreme parts of the church, why even parts of my demonination (Episcopalian) is pushing for gay marriage, go figure!
A very funny light-hearted joke until the author decided to put a sexist non-joke at the end and bring us all back down to the harsh reality of “the womens libs”.
blacks spear chucked when jesus was around.
Jesus was jewish, he was born jewish, and he was roman, he was born in the roman empire, sorry to ruin the joke
@sorry .. no one becomes roman by being born in roman empire.
Women rule, they have the pussy, they make the rules. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a FUCKTARD.
Everyone loses for taking this too seriously. It’s a joke. I thought it was funny.
@Whoa ..Thanks man!
i fucking hate women.
LOL
@boob biter
women have the pussy. they make the food.
@kalma
you’re god.
@blaah .. did a man gave birth to you or something? and are you going to marry a guy ? .. Good for you.
Hi, I see you liked my design for the article better. :) I got all the images from CC sites, so don’t worry.
@Boyan Yup your design is cute
I guess that WP shrinked the images automatically or you are showing the thumbnails.
@Boyan not actually .. I was not able to give space after text .. So i had to make images small
@ConsiderThis
Really, what have Christians done to you?
Be more mature.
And yes, Americans voted Bush in. Just because he loves Jesus doesn’t mean you have to be jealous. Jesus loves you, too.
Why did some woman have to ruin this?!
Jesus was a man:
He had a beard.
He never wimped out.
He didn’t ruin a good joke.
… and you call that a joke?
Jesus Did Get nailed By a bunch of men….
No but seriously… a good joke ruined….Back to the kitchen with you!
This joke is fake. It’s obviously been photoshopped. I can tell from the pixels and seeing so many photoshops in my time.
Jesus was:
a black californian jewish woman from ireland. according to the joke, i had a good laugh.
Seriously? It was a joke NOT ruined. You are all just typical guys and can’t laugh at anything unless it comes out of your own mouths and you only have eachother to laugh at… To be honest, I could probably kick all your guys asses….oh, and I’m a women.
and i missed italian
This joke sucks more dick then 27.brit
FUCK GOD!
Seriously people. Can you not just read a joke and just let it be a joke? For hundreds of years people have been hearing jokes and some people have laughed at some jokes and some haven’t. I really don’t think this needs to be some sort of feminist or theological argument here. I sense the person who posted this was not hoping to start a Christian reformation or make a radical feminist movement. It’s a cute joke, leave it at that. If you don’t think so, fine. Now be on your merry way.
Very funny!!! I love this! Jesus would have liked this joke……since he was infinitely more
open-hearted than the adherents of the false religion which sprang up after him. Jesus
and his teachings have nothing to do with Christianity at all. He was a JEW who taught
what was essentially an anti-establishment, anti-class structure, anti-religion. If he arose
today, Christians would have him killed the moment he told them to START HANDING OUT
their money to the poor and STOP HATING brown-people, homosexuals and women.
Sort of like christians killed off everyone else who came along ( read : who jesus sent us
) and who taught something similar. Recent examples include the Kennedy brothers,
Martin Luther king, and thousands of civil rights and anti-establishment people. Jesus
would be currently living in a cell in Guantanamo bay after the brown-shirts grabbed
him off the street for teaching that we must choose to obey heaven of Washington and
that we could only be loyal to one or the other at a time. If jesus really is God, I’m fairly
certain that he won’t need you people to defend his good name from a few (well crafted )
jokes!!!
This started out funny, but after the second group it was straining hard to make the connection, and the part about women seems totally constipated, as if it is tacked on by some rabid feminist who got offended by the joke.
If you really want proof that the beardy megalomaniac carpenter was a shemale, then there is much more compelling proof. For instance:
1. She wore a dress
2. Everyone else was doing it wrong - she was not satisfied until everyone else did it her way.
3. She came back from the dead just to be right one more time.
I could go on, but he/she is just not worth the effort of joking about.
that joke was funny until you phillies got in there and made it about how hard your lives are.
This joke won’t stop being funny anytime soon!!! I’m still enjoying it!
Widget is one baaaaaad-ass mofo!
Everyone else’s moral outrage is god damned, mother-fucking funny!!
Especially coming from the mouths of so many humorless, misogynist turds .
I love the smell of male insecurity in the morning,smells like…….virgins.
Humor is quite obviously a “grow-folks” game.
Stop hating on the ladies…..fuckin scumbags!
This is a sexest joke and purely frivolous.
I don’t know which is funnier, the joke itself or the comments made >.>
@MsLucia ..exactly .. I m bored now as the rate of comments is going down ..
@ LegoRemix
why would you write xtian instead of CHRISTian? Your taking out the most important part. Is it so you can seem hip, and cool, and not like those “other Christians?
Your clearly not too proud, or you would right out the proper name. Or do you worship the “G-man” and follow “his people” so you are a “xtian.”
Be a proud Christian or don’t. And your church can try to accept gay marriage all it’s wants. But thats when it stops being a Christian Church.
btw, the joke was mildly entertaining.
@ Nick Maranzano
Funny. I Thought thee requirement form being a christian was believing in Jesus and following his teachings. But I guess hating gays, a group Jesus never once mentioned, is a good definition too.
Haha! Brilliant. Love it!
Half the people posting here have no sense of humour - I’m a male Christian and even I appreciate it.
I’m noticing a lot of people just see the words ‘God’ or ‘Jesus’ and feel a need to lash out at anything related to it.
I love posts like some of the earlier ones. Really gets me in the mood for a good debate :D
x
basically, this is a joke. the comments got a little out of control. so let me sum it up for you guys…
one….if Jesus was here, he wouldnt be nearly the same as he was back then. their is so many extra things you have to include in our now very compicated world and lifestyle that he couldnt just say, give your money to the poor..ALL OF IT.
all of you people who claim to be christians are so confused! you are sitting on your computers hatin on others for spelling christian wrong or getting the facts wrong instead of loving eachother and sayin, “hey, that was a good joke!” after all, it was a “JOKE”…
were all brothers and sisters in christ. so treat eachother like it! unfortunately this world is so caught up in trying to better than everyone or being the best at what you do and being super mega selfish that people have forgotten basic morals and values. what happened to hospitality and dating to marry? GONE…
most of you americans are going to hell unfortunately. and satan is going to love it, but maybe one day one of these “christians” will wake up and actually try to make disciples in christ, instead of sitting on their computers commenting some joke about jesus way to seriously. wake up!
That realy lame. I have no problems with it, its just realy, realy fucking lame
hello internet, here are MY opinions about stuff
Damn women making shitty jokes about shitty people.
^ this is my favorite comment .
pretty fu(king stupid. Thumbs down
@ Bieti
You are correct in that being a Christian is believing in Jesus and following his teachings. I never said a single thing about ‘hating gays’ nor do i ‘hate gays.’ Homosexuality is a sin in Christianity. However we are not taught to “hate” sinners, just so you know, anyone that says otherwise doesn’t know what there talking about. I was just simple stating, that if your church claims to be Christian, but denys some of the main tenants of the religion, you can’t still call that Christian.
But thanks for attempting to twist my words. It was very thoughtful.
@Kalma42
“typical woman
ruining what could have been a good joke with her feminist ideals.”
LOL!
@Widget
“I thought Americans put Bush twice in office.?”
Not the smart, sane ones. But admittedly, during the second round, the alternative wasn’t much better. Many were just trying to vote for the lesser of two evils.
LULZ at the idiot who said christians put bush in office–
last I checked,
AMERICANS ALL VOTED.
However,
to the creator of this,
VERY entertaining. At first I was like, “whaaat…” *glazed eyes*
and then I laughed. n,n
@boob, women has the pussy, they make the food. not the rulz, newfagg!
I thought it was pretty funny. But then I guess having a sense of humor on the internet goes against some people’s beliefs ;)
@Shizzle ..Elections are always between ‘Giant Douche’ and ‘Turd Sandwich’ :)
but there’re 3 even more compelling reasons Jesus was Mexican…
1.- His name was “Jesus” (Duh!)
2.- He got lost in the desert for 40 days (probably crossing the border)…
3.- He was very catholic and worshiped The Virgin Mary.
I was about to “thumbs up” this on stumble until that last part .
If you are going to be sexist at least make it funny…
If Jesus was indeed a real person, then it may be that they actually found his tomb a couple years ago. There’s lots of evidence that say it could be his, such as “bone boxes” (obviously in which the bones of bodies were kept) with the inscriptions of the names of who they hold, such as “Jesus son of Joseph” and “Joseph” (However the inscriptions are somewhat different for some names as the biblical characters are named differently in different languages, which causes confusion in the evidence) There is also two different ones that translate to Mary. one being the proclaimed Virgin Mary and Mary Magdelaine. There are other names as well that would suggest that Jesus would have had brothers and sisters and possibly even a son that he had with Mary Magdelaine. Of course, when the discovery of this tomb was made the religious community denied the possibility of it being the true “Jesus son of God”. One thing that makes it more probable that these are truly Jesus’ remains is that it is extremely rare for the names of the deceased to be inscribed on the ‘bone boxes’ and there was a recurring symbol that was found on the tomb opening along with other places relating to tombs that may have held disciples of his. Kind of like a cult logo.
tl;dr So, he may have been married to Mary Magdelaine, had a kid, and right now his remains could be sitting some warehouse somewhere
ah, the wonders of History class. My teacher showed us a video about it. It was probably from the history channel, but it may have been an episode of “The Naked Archaeologist” (no, no nudity in the show itself) But it definitly had the host of TNA in th video.
Yeah..
The last one really wasn’t that funny. =/
It’s stereotypes were more soap-box than the others.
Other than that it amused me.
And the comments have been funny.
Best one so far: “oh, and I’m a women.”
The funnies part of this whole post is that God would laugh With you not at you. The part I enjoy the most is the power of words.. I have always wondered why words bring out the best and wrost in all of us.
@blaah: You are a fucktard. A sexist fucktard.
@Boobbiter:You are fuckin’ awesome.
that was funny . I can’t believe how serious some of you people get over a little bit of comedy - totally ridiculous .
What is it with a lot of you people. its a joke..u either find it funny or not. ITS A JOKE..leave it at that an not turn it into some big feckoff discussion… oh an..
“@blaah: You are a fucktard. A sexist fucktard.”
… Its because of people like you that Murder should become legal..least that way i wouldnt get in trouble when i…well… nevermind that. the point it why cant people just keep a joke as a joke an not a debate..psh..
Ha! That joke was great, because when you think about it Jesus was a really lame wierdo.
If they did some jokes about the eccentricities of Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking or Charles Darwin, would scientists get upset? Of course not. Christians are upset because Christianity is more than just a set of beliefs, it’s a mental illness that comes loaded with emotional baggage. Get help people and free your minds!
@Cindy
Why is everyone okay with racist jokes
(such as the “jesus is black” part)
But as SOON as someone brings up a sexist joke…..
Women flip? I am a woman, and I found it rather funny. Feminists should get over themselves.
Racist, but yeah.
Wow you people are nuts…it was a mediocre joke. don’t let the internet make you cry.
I love when people are so anti-Christian and have no problem bashing Christians in office, yet do they realize the other candidate in this election who they will probably vote for (Mr Messiah Obama to most people it seems…) IS a Christian???? Do people realize this? People act like it’s Christians that’s the problem. (and for the record, I am a NO party supporter, neither for McCain nor Obama, nor Republican or Democrat, I think the whole system is a joke) That’s the same ignorance where people think Muslims are the problem in the Middle East. No, it is certain people, like the Taliban, who happen to follow one religion or another, not the religion itself. People are so ignorant and THAT makes me angry.
Wow, so Jesus causes as much violence as a joke as he does a religion.
Jesus WAS Jewish…
Nice little joke though
This isn’t a joke, this is self-inflating bullshit.
A joke is funny. This joke could have been funny if it wasn’t for the fact that the “Jesus is a woman” part didn’t follow the established lines. Every other part of that joke was using stereotypes. The woman part wasn’t. Good joke destroyed by poor humor.
SPOILER WARNING
god doesn’t exist.
Of course jesus was jewish like anyone else in Galilee at the time
@liddle bum
You MUST be a woman. Both of those comments were sexist, not just the one that didn’t appeal to you.
Wow. Fail. Good joke, destroyed by feminist BS.
*sigh*
I have no clue what people have against Christians, they taste great when cooked with the right sauce and served with wine…….. Lighten up idiots.
wtf? that was a retard joke
typical internet.
ruining what could have been a good joke with its mind-numbingly awful comments.
Okay here goes… First off… It was funny, I laughed and can’t wait to show my husband. He will laugh too!!!
Now to all the women and men out there who thing this was sexist feminist or any of the above mentioned, I will explain why it’s not…
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus could have been a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was no food.
Ladies this is a freaking compliment, take it as one… No man I know of can whip up a bunch of food for a bunch of people…. It’s in our blood…
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
There wasn’t anything horrible in this one… it is the truth that most women will argue with someone until she gets her point across… I know I do it damn it…
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.
A woman’s job isn’t ever done. We worry about everything. We worry about the family, the house, the chores, the bills. It’s in our nature, we are nurturers.
I liked and had absolutely no problem with it. I do take everything said as a compliment. Most men don’t even compare to the things mentioned… well accept the arguing point.
It was funny Kudos to Widget!!!!
hey number 9. ’sorry’
thats correct because you have all this factual evidence he was jewish, you are awesome well done for your comment. i would however like to point out, there is no proof of his existance let alone jewish, this could turn into a horrible battle as it usualy does, it was a joke.. thats all, keep your mother-loving beliefs out of it, no one forces anything upon you so you shouldnt do eigther, i could give you a fuck load more proof that he wasnt real that you can that he was a jew.
xxkissesxx
gdgdgd
stop telling jokes. teh interwebz is serious business.
Man, the internet is serious business.
you people are all fucking retarded, its JUST A JOKE
He was jewish
hi
xsa63mh3bwenceio
good luck
Darn feminists.
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